REvising a Letter: Vacation Planning

a) The letter is to cluttered and somewhat confusing to read. There is a lot the person writing the letter is wanting to find out, but it is not in an organized format. Plus the person writing the letter is not directly saying what he wants.

b) 1. I would like to know about what your resort is like and what attractions are closely surrounding the resort that my family and I would enjoy attending.

2. Provide proper details the helps the resort understand what you are particularly looking to do while staying.

3. List could be used effectively in this letter.

4. Ask for the information that could help to find out about the certain things you and your family are wanting to do while on vacation.

5. If you could let me know within the next couple of weeks to see if this is possibly s




c)

5493 Beechwood Drive
Trenton, N.J. 08608
April 12, 2009


Florida Resort Bureau
1555 Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard
West Palm Beach, FL 33401

Dear Sir:

I am writing because my family and I are planning a vacation and are trying to find out what resorts will work best for us. We saw your ad in a magazine and were interested. I am wanting to know what your resort offers and what attractions closely surround your resort that my family and I would enjoy attending. If this information could be sent to me within the next two weeks that would be great so I can schedule my time from work in the fall.

If you could please inform me of this information:
- Are there golf courses near?
- Is there entertainment suitable for the whole family?
- Is there public transportation available?
- Are large cities near the resort that have means of transportation to them?
- Do off season rates include the amenities?
- Are there concerts available and who would we need to call for tickets?
- How is the weather in Florida in September?

Thanks so much for you help and again if you could let me know as soon as possible.

Sincerely,
Frank C. Atlas