a) The letter is to cluttered and somewhat confusing to read. There is a lot the person writing the letter is wanting to find out, but it is not in an organized format. Plus the person writing the letter is not directly saying what he wants.
b) 1. I would like to know about what your resort is like and what attractions are closely surrounding the resort that my family and I would enjoy attending.
2. Provide proper details the helps the resort understand what you are particularly looking to do while staying.
3. List could be used effectively in this letter.
4. Ask for the information that could help to find out about the certain things you and your family are wanting to do while on vacation.
5. If you could let me know within the next couple of weeks to see if this is possibly s
c)
5493 Beechwood Drive
Trenton, N.J. 08608
April 12, 2009
Florida Resort Bureau
1555 Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard
West Palm Beach, FL 33401
Dear Sir:
I am writing because my family and I are planning a vacation and are trying to find out what resorts will work best for us. We saw your ad in a magazine and were interested. I am wanting to know what your resort offers and what attractions closely surround your resort that my family and I would enjoy attending. If this information could be sent to me within the next two weeks that would be great so I can schedule my time from work in the fall.
If you could please inform me of this information:
- Are there golf courses near?
- Is there entertainment suitable for the whole family?
- Is there public transportation available?
- Are large cities near the resort that have means of transportation to them?
- Do off season rates include the amenities?
- Are there concerts available and who would we need to call for tickets?
- How is the weather in Florida in September?
Thanks so much for you help and again if you could let me know as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Frank C. Atlas
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Analyze This Message
At a local business-supply store, I recently purchased your "Negotiator Pro" for my computer. I bought the CD after seeing your ad for it in Macworld magazine, and it looked as if it might be an effective tool for my job.
Unfortunately, when I inserted it in my office computer, it wouldn't work. I returned it to the store, but since it had already been opened, they refused to exchange it for a CD that would work or for a refund. I was told to contact this company and you might be able to send me another version.
If you could please send the information to me at the letterhead address. If you cannot send me the correct disk, please refund my $79.95. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me in this matter.
Unfortunately, when I inserted it in my office computer, it wouldn't work. I returned it to the store, but since it had already been opened, they refused to exchange it for a CD that would work or for a refund. I was told to contact this company and you might be able to send me another version.
If you could please send the information to me at the letterhead address. If you cannot send me the correct disk, please refund my $79.95. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me in this matter.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Email Etiquette
Subject line:
Your subject line is not about arousing interest or curiosity. Make sure not to be wordy and don't let the subject say "hi" or "hey" as the subject. Make sure the context is clear. Be precise and to the bottom line. The subject basically need to be a summary of everything about to be mentioned in the body of the email.
Punctuation:
How you write a sentence in an email carries a lot of meaning to the reader. Don't leave punctuations out of an email because it can cause confusion to the reader and they may not have any idea what you are talking about or may misinterpret your message. Avoid slang as best you can. Too much can cause problems to the email. Don't use too many exclamation points in your email. Professional emails are not the place for them.
"Flaming:"
Be careful where and how you are using the flaming style email. Only do if necessary. And make sure not to have wars with other people by way of this email style.
http://email.about.com/od/emailnetiquette/tp/core_netiquette.htm
Your subject line is not about arousing interest or curiosity. Make sure not to be wordy and don't let the subject say "hi" or "hey" as the subject. Make sure the context is clear. Be precise and to the bottom line. The subject basically need to be a summary of everything about to be mentioned in the body of the email.
Punctuation:
How you write a sentence in an email carries a lot of meaning to the reader. Don't leave punctuations out of an email because it can cause confusion to the reader and they may not have any idea what you are talking about or may misinterpret your message. Avoid slang as best you can. Too much can cause problems to the email. Don't use too many exclamation points in your email. Professional emails are not the place for them.
"Flaming:"
Be careful where and how you are using the flaming style email. Only do if necessary. And make sure not to have wars with other people by way of this email style.
http://email.about.com/od/emailnetiquette/tp/core_netiquette.htm
Email Edit
To: sarah@work.net
CC: jim@work.net
From: jim@work.net
Subject: Training Trip
Dear Sarah,
I need to figure out who to get into contact with for money for a training trip I want to go on. Do you know who to ask?
If you do, could you please let me know? Thanks.
Sincerely,
Bill
CC: jim@work.net
From: jim@work.net
Subject: Training Trip
Dear Sarah,
I need to figure out who to get into contact with for money for a training trip I want to go on. Do you know who to ask?
If you do, could you please let me know? Thanks.
Sincerely,
Bill
Thursday, February 4, 2010
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